☂ It happens. It just does.
I don’t want you to take a picture of me alone because I need you in it. Just like, well, in life.
It’s not everyday that you take a good second look of yourself and realize that you are deserving to be loved in return.
With you, everyday’s a love moment. A discovery.
Kalí̱ Agíou Valentínou :)
#well.realize.our.dreams.soon,in His time. :)
☂ Sometimes for ONCE in your life, it’s nice to see your name on paper.
Sleek and clean.
❝ Innocence tinctures all things with brightest hues. ❞ -Edward Counsel
☂ A Fact: I definitely l♥ve saddle bags. They make me feel carefree :) I’ve been looking for the perfect one.
I am the middle daughter of my parents and the ‘single-est’ woman among my sibs. I smile a lot, in fact, most of the time. Some people would just wonder why I’m still smiling in the middle of nothingness. Perhaps, it’s just my way of letting things stay in bright hues instead of shading them in grays. I am imperfect, clumsy and I would self-diagnose myself as bipolar. I may be alive at one point but will shrink in a nutshell at another point. I’ve been through a lot and most of them are just battles of inner conflicts so you will never understand. So don’t try, it’s just a waste of your time but just be there and do nothing. I would greatly appreciate that. :) I can say that I’m selfish because I can never promise to anyone and then I think of survival and look forward…and then panic-that would make it all worse. Go comprehend. I guess experiences do teach and influence us in a lot of ways, some good, some bad, some open to new layers of discovery…Oh well… I live in frustration because I’ve been blaming myself for not fighting what I’d really love to do. But then again, thanks to great teachers, I’m taking it all back. Slowly and surely, I’ll replant the seeds that were long drought in the thirsty soil. Whoever discovered colors and gave them their names, please hear my plea. I owe something to all of you. And that’s something I’ll embrace for the rest of my life. Go figure…
Life is tough. It is, for sure. And it’s imperfect. I am, too. There are things that I want to change/to let go/to delete/to open/to decipher/to reveal but they don’t allow me. Like it’s there, an imprint on my Tabula Rasa. Is there such a thing? Maybe. ‘Cause why would I be saying these things if not, right?
I love God. I love my family. I love my friends. I love my best-est friends. I love my lover. If only it’s enough to love, but what’s worth in loving without kindness, generosity and humility. Maybe that’s why I’m still here, to build what’s broken, to nourish what’s deprived, to discover what’s hidden, to create what’s in the mind.
I am a human being-capable of loving and to be loved in return.
I have conflicts that are yet to be reconciled.
I cry in silence.
I laugh at the lowest of the lowest jokes.
I am alive.
I am me.
Surprise ♥… Nothing like the feeling of having someone who made an effort to go all the way from work to cross an island for you and bring you a sweet bundle-especially in the middle of a busy day. In reality, I’m not a good time manager, chaotic in fact, but when others make an intense effort for you even if it costs much of their time like when they have other things to do but still find time for you- makes you realize that you are much appreciated and importantly, respected. Inspiring. Makes me think. :)
Oh well, you made me smile unfathomably and silently all day. So sweet of you. :) Thank you and by the way, they’re really delish. Mama, Shan and I enjoyed it. :)
Septembre 13th, 2012
Wow, I see cobwebs everywhere. Joking aside ;) Now, it’s been like a century! Goodness! Aaaaaaaaaah, feels good to be back once more. ♥
As of now, I still feel unsure of what I’m feeling right now. Not with love because I’m definitely head over heels with with him :), not with family because I know no matter what they’re always there. I just wish I could give more to them. But what is ticking my unsure reality is facing the future. I’m not getting any younger and that’s a fact. People around me are not getting any younger, too…if you know what I mean. It’s like there’s this universal clock that keeps on ticking but it won’t go on forever. And I want to make the best out of that time through unselfish, carefree, no feeling of insecurity ways of living. I want to give back more to people who needs my help. I guess the work I’m in right now surely would help me get through that road. :) Even if it means facing demanding patients, running back and forth the long flight of stairs, chasing deadlines, chasing patients, handling complaints even if it’s not your fault, more headaches, finding exaggerated ways/solutions of solving own mistakes, 48 working hours and low salary and blah..blah…blah. Hahahahahahaahahhaha, not complaining much, eh? But yeah, life goes on like that. But still thankful for this life. :) ‘Cause at the end of the day there’s always something that gets done. Anyway, I’m still crossing my fingers and praying and hoping I’ll finally see/know/feel/do my purpose in life.
“I follow my mind to chase my dreams but then again, I’ll follow my heart more to chase my real dreams. ♥”-Kai Yen
Over and Out ♥
.:Kai’s the Limit l Penny For My Thoughts